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How to be a good manager?

Last night after a day of consulting young managers, and a real Zen Buddhist woke up in me and wrote all this. Now to your enjoyment from Skillers :)

  1. Your authority as a leader is determined by how important your employees and their opinions are to you.
  2. Resolving a conflict between two people, ask them a question: what problem are they trying to solve in reality? And is there anything else besides this problem that they would like to change in their interaction/relationships?
  3. The ability to accept praise is as important as the ability to remain open and hearing when comments are made.
  4. Learning not to label others is very easy if you stop doing it in relation to yourself.
  5. To speak many times about the same thing with one person, means to hide your own inability to make decisions and take actions.
  6. The effectiveness of feedback is not in the quality of words but in the authenticity of those feelings and attitudes towards a person that you are trying to express in words. Feel and express.
  7. When you are giving the task to another person, slow down inside as if, apart from this moment, nothing exists in the world.
  8. Speak in such a way that the other can see what you are talking about. And for this, consider the point of view of your opponent.
  9. Never use correspondence for complicated conversations. In correspondence, you will never hear the insecurity and doubts of the interlocutor in your words. As well as the hope that you will be able to convince him.
  10. A reliable answer is born when you not only hear the words of another person but also see from what state he tells them to you. Listen with your eyes too.
  11. Think of your excitement and fear as a sign to be even more attentive than usual.
  12. Fear of a situation is usually stronger than in the situation itself.
  13. Praising and disgrace have the same roots. Just do what you like: for yourself and your self-realization.
  14. Humaneness towards others begins with friendliness towards yourself. Whether you are married or not, - be your own friend in grief and joy.
  15. Think over mistakes and use them as pointers to the next steps. And don’t turn your thoughts back to the past, otherwise, you will be petrified :) You will not find there anything but food for your self-flagellation demon.
  16. People always do everything of their own free will. They cannot be controlled, but you can negotiate with them. Failure to comply with the agreements should be included in the list of reasons for dismissal.
  17. Managing people is about respect in the first place. And about respecting yourself, it’s not least.
  18. Sometimes we decide to avoid a decision. Be able to leave yourself alone, even if you have a question, and the answer has not yet been appeared.
  19. Victory over another person in an argument the next moment makes you as weak as if you are defeated.
  20. Behind the arguments of another in the dispute there is always a layer of his fears. Consider them and offer something that will help the other person not to be afraid of them; this will help you to argue out.
  21. The more we fuse to defend our opinion, the less we have this very opinion.
  22. Even if you don’t have an opinion you must a holistic person. Do not separate yourself on the one who has no opinion, and the one who condemns oneself for it. Everything is changing. Tomorrow you will be different. So, don’t give up today.
  23. It is easy to express your opinion if you understand what you are doing and it brings you satisfaction. And it is difficult if this satisfaction is not enough for you, and you want to impress everyone with your eloquence as well. The ability to hit others leads to loneliness.
  24. The search for the perfect solution is often designed to distract our attention from our inability to take responsibility for the consequences of decisions.
  25. Changes within us never occur on the basis of conflict with what we have from the beginning.
  26. Taking care of yourself and being preoccupied with yourself is not the same thing.
  27. Your true attitude towards people is manifested in what features you endow them within your head while playing mental dialogues with them.
  28. Before you agree to a promotion and leadership role, find the answer to the question: why am I going there? And if the answer is any other than “for your own sake and your experience”, -  you are not honest enough with yourself, and this (but not other people) will produce problems.
  29. Our openness admits everything that happens in its diversity. Closure will tell how everything should be according to our ideas.
  30. When we dream of something, we put there only one part – the pleasant. Neither life, nor work, nor motherhood, nor relationships ever consist of only one part. Stop doing nonsense in your head. Bring yourself back to reality. It is not pleasant only when we slow down with acceptance. Don’t stop, go ahead!

Natalya Tylka

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